Fifty Shades of Seddie
by HeyBulldogProductions
Summary: Parody of "Fifty Shades of Grey" with Seddie: Her inner goddess told her no. She didn't listen. She thought 'YOLO' and got with Freddie Benson, the sexy, intimidating man of her dreams. But the twist? He becomes her worst nightmare.
1. Chapter 1

**Fifty Shades of Seddie**

_A/N: Hello readers! I don't usually write author's notes, but when I do, you shall read them. This idea to collaborate Seddie with the plot from the pornographic novel that everyone's been buzzing about hasn't been done yet. I thought I would take it upon myself to write it! Just to clarify, this is a parody. It will have its moments of bad writing, but that's the whole point of a parody, right? I haven't read all of "Fifty Shades of Grey", but I have read parts of it, so I will be quoting those parts only. The rest I will write up from my own imagination. To anyone who's read it and likes the book, I apologize in advance. This is also the first M-rated fanfic I've ever written, so go easy on me, please. Enjoy!_

…

_(Sam's POV)_

The approximate time my inner goddess should've gotten up was an hour ago. If I could follow my urge just to snuggle back in between my bed sheets and relax into complete slumber, I would. I should have, but that wouldn't have created the _wonderful _plot-line coming up. When I sat up from my bed, my hair fell in front of my face in a tangled mess. I cursed at it loudly because I can. I brushed it aside and got ready for my day. I always yell at my hair in the morning. #YOLO. I heard some fierce coughing from down the hall. My inner goddess decided to go investigate.

"Who's dying?" I asked humorously. My roommate and best friend, Carly, came out of her room with a thermometer in her mouth. Her petite body was draped in a purple bathrobe.

"I am", she snapped. "And of course my body decides to shut down the day of my interview. Could you go for me?"

I sigh without giving it much thought. "I guess. I just hope he isn't a seductive, secretive guy who smirks a lot and is into BDSM. I also hope he doesn't present me with a contract for him to have complete control over me and fuck me until the cows come home. Oh well, that couldn't happen, right?"

…

Wrong.

"Hello. My name Freddie Benson", he introduces himself sexily.

This motherfucker sitting across from me has probably been smirking since he was a fetus in his mother's uterus. My inner goddess freaks out as he invites me in with his cold gaze. My inner goddess finds him sexy, yet intimidating. My inner goddess sits her ass in a chair and completely fucks up the interview. At least that's what I thought.

"You didn't fuck up the interview", he says as if he could somehow read my mind. "In fact, here's my phone number. I know we just met. And this is crazy. But #YOLO. Laters, baby."

He leaves the motherfucking room. My inner goddess comes to the conclusion that I like-like this bitch and his fucking smirk. Fuck.

…

_A/N: Another author's note! Hello there! I know this was really short, but the rest will be longer IF I get reviews telling me to continue. I haven't even gotten to the 'down there' parts yet._


	2. Chapter 2

**Fifty Shades of Seddie**

_A/N: Hello again! Wow, ten reviews! That honestly means to world to me. Thank you so much! I also forgot to state that I'm not going in order of the story. I will probably put a lot of the 'well known' quotes in random spots as well (you'll see that in this chapter). I'm leaving quite a few parts out as well. If you've read the story and think there's one part of it I should write, PM me the part or write it in a review! _

…

_(Sam's POV)_

That bastard pulled me in like a sparkly vampire pulls a dumb girl from Forks. I went to some random building that the author doesn't know about because she didn't read the damn book. But apparently the building has some sort of room in it that I later discover and gasp at.

As I'm staring off into space, Freddie clears his throat once more. "You want to come up into my game room?" he asks with his grizzly voice.

I nod apprehensively. Whoa, big word! "Sure." What kind of fucking game room are we talking about? There better not be monopoly money taped to the walls. Why do I have the feeling this room looks like the inside of a lesbian kindergarten teacher's vagina?

He opened the door and I gasped. The room had no carper! Astonishing. Forget the chains, whips, and other sexually disturbing shit on the walls.

"Do you make love in this room?" I asked because I'm a nosy bitch.

"First of all, I don't make love. I fuck. Hard."

"No, it's make love."

"Fuck."

"Make love."

"Fuck."

"Have sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Fuck."

"Sex."

"Is the reader bored of this conversation?" my inner goddess asks him. She's craving ice cream.

"Probably, so…your mom!"

I gasp and look at one of the whips. "Wait…that contract I signed in between this chapter and the one before."

He holds it up and smirks. "I get to whip the shit out of your Virgin Mary ass."

"Shit," I say. "Freddie…why do you have all of this stuff?"

The writer of this story decides to add a pretty decently written chunk of writing here…As the question escaped my lips, Freddie pondered for a moment. It would make sense to break the forth wall and make a pun to the title, right? He sighed, crossing his arms and standing close to her.

"I'm fifty shades of fucked up."

Then, out of the blue, he looks at my belt, which magically undoes itself. My pants fall down and he jabs two fingers…

_DOWN THERE._

Oh my inner goodess…that feels so good. My down there tingles like a cheerleader with her pom poms. He's got me in the palm of his hand. Literally.


End file.
